He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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