none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
