I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize