I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
your room smells of hookers.
And success
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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