I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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