Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
