I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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