just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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