escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
