i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
