He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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