and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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