Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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