I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
