so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
