You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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