i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So vagazzling was a success
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
