i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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