I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
