Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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