I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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