Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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