Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize