I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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