i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
