I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She's the barista slut.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize