My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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