Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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