I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She announced her abortion via fbk
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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