Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
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