It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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