Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
