i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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