He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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