Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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