My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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