This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
cat food counts as protein by the way
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
