i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She's JV to your varsity
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
