Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
