Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
