she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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