Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sorry about my life...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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