I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
