remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
