She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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