i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
