I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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