I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
