He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
