dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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