Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
