I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
