I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
