Sponge bath it is.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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