Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
