after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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