so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
